Have you ever felt that rejection hurts more than you would expect? As if it were an invisible wound that would insist on burning?
Whether in a relationship, at work, or among friends, rejection can be hard to ignore — especially for people with Hyperactivity Disorder and Attention Deficit (PHDA).
Is there a way to deal with this without allowing it to affect your self-esteem?
Although there is no absolute consensus on the topic, some studies link the emotional pain of social rejection with the activation of brain regions associated with physical pain.
This may explain why it's so difficult to ignore it... In addition, rejection can trigger a cycle of negative thinking, leading to rumination and, in some cases, anxiety symptoms or depression.
The way in which we interpret rejection directly influences its intensity.
Often, we tend to personalize the experience, assuming that we were rejected for not being good enough, when in reality there are numerous external factors involved.
Fortunately, it is possible to respond better to these situations! 🙌⬇️
Instead of running away or allowing rejection to define your self-esteem, try these strategies to deal with the experience in a healthier way:
Rejection awakens physical and emotional reactions that vary in intensity. To respond appropriately, the first step is to recognize Where do you find yourself emotionally.
We can categorize this intensity into 3 levels:
Identifying emotional intensity makes it easier to choose the best strategy to calm down before acting impulsively.
The specialist in Social-Emotional Learning, Caroline Maguire, developed this technique to deal with rejection and other intense emotions.
Here's how to apply it in practice:
Identify the emotional and physical signs of rejection by categorizing them at the green, yellow, or red level (as explained above). The sooner you recognize them, the easier it will be to manage them.
Adjust your response according to your emotional level.
Rejection isn't always as personal as it seems, but in the moment it can be difficult realize the reality of the situation.
The next step in dealing with this feeling is to separate objective facts from subjective interpretations.
Ask yourself:
Example — being rejected by someone you love:
Imagine that you started seeing someone and that person canceled a date without suggesting a new date.
By recognizing this difference, avoid creating automatic narratives that reinforce emotional pain.
After identifying the facts, the next step is to explore other possible interpretations. We often assume the worst when, in reality, there are several alternative explanations.
Returning to the example of the canceled meeting:
💡 The person may be overwhelmed with work.
💡 You may be going through an emotionally difficult time.
💡 You may like yourself but have trouble showing interest.
And most importantly: whenever possible, Communicate and ask directly, instead of allowing negative and cyclical thoughts to set in.
Many perceived rejections simply result from a lack of information or misinterpreted communication.
By reframing the situation, we reduce the emotional impact of rejection and avoid falling into destructive thinking patterns!
Rejection is part of life, but it doesn't have to define who we are.
Some strategies for increasing resilience include:
✔ Create a support system — Surround yourself with people who validate your feelings, but who also help you put the situation into perspective.
✔ Avoid ruminating about rejection — Reliving the moment over and over reinforces the pain. Whenever you notice this, redirect your attention to another activity.
✔ Recall past experiences — Think of times when the rejection seemed significant and, over time, you realized that it wasn't as important as it seemed.
RSD is an emotional reaction intense and disproportionate to any situation that can be interpreted as rejection or criticism.
While many people feel sadness or frustration when dealing with rejection, those with RSD can experience emotional outbursts that severely affect their personal and professional lives.
✅ Information: Knowing RSD can help separate emotions from reality.
✅ Emotional regulation techniques: Mindfulness and deep breathing help reduce emotional intensity.
✅ Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: It allows you to restructure negative thinking patterns.
✅ Neurofeedback: It helps improve emotional regulation and reduce anxiety.
✅ Medication: In certain situations, medications used for ADHD can help manage RSD.
Dealing with rejection requires practice and patience, but developing emotional resilience can transform those experiences into opportunities for growth.
If you feel that rejection is affecting your quality of life, seek professional support.
We are available to help you strengthen your emotional resilience and to develop tools to face emotional challenges with more balance. 🧠🌟
Ginapp, C.M., Greenberg, N.R., MacDonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G.A., Bold, K.W., & Potenza, M.N. (2023). “Dysregulated not deficit”: A qualitative study on symptomatology of ADHD in young adults. PLoS One, 18 (10), e0292721. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0292721.
Cacioppo, S., Frum, C., Asp, E., Weiss, R., Lewis, J., & Cacioppo, J. (2013). A Quantitative Meta-Analysis of Functional Imaging Studies of Social Rejection. Scientific Reports, 3. https://doi.org/10.1038/srep02027.
Sullivan, M.D., & Ballantyne, J.C. (2021). When Physical and Social Pain Coexist: Insights Into Opioid Therapy. Annals of Family Medicine, 19 (1), 79—82. https://doi.org/10.1370/afm.2591.
Caroline Maguire — Connection Matters. Rejection Sensitivity & ADHD. Available in: https://carolinemaguireauthor.com/rejection-sensitivity-adhd/.
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